>Some fun news from our friends at AMERICAN COMEDY NETWORK… proudly powering the Crash and Company morning show!

Lindsay Lohan has landed a modeling job and will be in Milan, Italy this weekend for a runway show. The show will have the hottest fashions and armed guards to keep track of the jewelry.

The band R.E.M has called it quits after 30 years. They were afraid if they didn’t retire, Michaele Salahi might try to hook up with one of them.

A NASA satellite is expected to fall to Earth on Friday; any one person’s chance of being hit by debris is one in 21 trillion. The only bigger fireworks? If Jennifer Aniston runs into Brad Pitt this weekend.

University of Pennsylvania students who gathered for class later discovered that the reason the professor never showed was because he had died five months earlier. The problem with an excuse like that is you can only use it once.

A dog-sitter in Colorado is facing animal cruelty charges for “walking” a client’s Chihuahua by holding the leash of the dog while she drove her Toyota Camry 10-15 mph. The good news in all this? The dog has completely lost the desire to chase cars.

A new study by American Express shows that the super wealthy cut their spending this year on clothes and jewelry. How embarrassing to be caught wearing last year’s Rolex.