I can no longer hide my true identity.  My dark past dealings with the Advanced Research Projects Agency have come back to haunt me.  I don’t know how much time I have left in cyberspace before I’m completely blocked and blacklisted, so I’ve decided to share my mind secrets for anyone and everyone (except cyber-terrorists and anyone who doesn’t believe the exact way I do about the Pinterest cult, cross-dressing salt water aquarium life, and the authorized Roddenberry canon).

I cannot and will not accept currency for my mentoring because all funds can and will be traced back to people I care about.  Their safety is paramount to me.

I am open to housing, transportation, and food bartering…. depending on what part of the globe you reside.

Please do not read this post.

Please do not share this post.

Please discourage anyone you know from text voting for the next American Idol (more about that in my next telepathic broadcast).

And regardless of what the so-called “gurus or experts” tell you, Oxycodone/Acetaminophen is not addicting or has no lasting side-effects.

I wish you well and will remember you all in therapy.

Andy Crash Kelly

Transmitted from the future, March, 2297